my phone needs a breathalizer
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
