who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Houston, we have a blender
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize