I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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