I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
