he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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