i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize