i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
