After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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