she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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