If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
