I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
