she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
