If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
