i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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