According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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