Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
