She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
