I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
