I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
