well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
