Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
