Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
