how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize