$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize