I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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