Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
