I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize