I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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