Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
