all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
