He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My friends, they love my intelligence
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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