Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
