Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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