there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
