hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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