I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize