Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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