if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
