Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
