I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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