It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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