they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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