Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize