I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i think my cat just said my name.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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