I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
