shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
