wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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