Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
