You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Less talking, more tequila
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
