It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
