he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
