She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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