id be glad to
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
