Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The air was thick with penises
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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