why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
