Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
