we're chasing vodka with high fives
You can't special order awesome
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
