don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
