so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
