Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
