It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
