My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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