I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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