is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
