I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
