There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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