I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
