it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize