Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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