My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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