plz talk dirty to me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
